Speaker • Trainer • Consultant


Welcome to the Month of Love


Welcome to the month of LOVE!

Focusing on love and not fear, coming from love and not fear, asking myself, is this action I am about to take, coming from/one of love for myself vs. fear? Love for the other(s) vs. fear? It is not always easy to determine.

This is what I practice in order to be in the integrity and have the serenity I so greatly desire, on a daily basis. My relationships with others reap the benefits as well, which circle around to my serenity and attitude of gratitude. A former spiritual mentor shared this way of conducting her life many years ago. It reinforced my profound experience reading Dr. Gerald Jampolsky’s  Love is Letting Go of Fear, back in the late 1980’s. I knew my inner life would not be the same after that book. My heart had been touched in a way that was deep and transforming.  It spoke a truth to me that I had not heard before.

Fast forward more than thirty years to 2018. Coming from love and not fear is a great challenge for me regarding more global issues of our day. Within my immediate circle, it is fairly easy, yet I feel the pull of that bigger fear on a regular basis. In my clinical work I am finding, as are many mental health professionals, that the level of fear and stress in our clients is exacerbated by the current administration’s rhetoric and  damaging actions to our connection with each other and the environment, not only here in the US, but world-wide as well. 

Here is an article recently written in psychology today that confirms this.  Stressful Lives

There is a hand painted and framed plaque sitting on the table between two chairs in my office that states “Come from Love and not Fear.” I am reminded and remind my clients on a regular basis that this is one of the ways out of the painful aftermath of whatever trauma they may have lived through or are currently living with. It is a powerful tool for healing and taking good care of oneself.

It is critical for me to acknowledge and validate the high level of fear and anxiety I, and many of us have running through our nervous systems at this time. February is a great month to start a new habit, if you do not already do it, and ask yourself, “Am I coming from LOVE or FEAR?”

I know there is a plethora of materials on how to answer this question. Below are just a few quick references that clients may find helpful…

How to Choose Love Over Fear With Each Thought
by Jennie Lee

Love vs Fear: Choose Wisely
by Nathalie Thompson | podcast 

The Happy Philosopher
The Power of Love and Fear

Then there are resources from a few of those well known in the field:

Love is Letting Go of Fear
by Gerald Jampolsky, MD

Rick Hanson, PhD.
Hardwiring Happiness

Pema Chodron
Smile at Fear: Pema Chodron on Bravery, Open Heart & Basic Goodness

Jack Kornfield on Sitting in Love Rather Than Fear

Covert Emotional Incest: The Hidden Sexual Abuse- A Story of Hope and Healing by Adena Bank Lees
Due out in February! Stay tuned! 

“Adena Bank Lees guides us on a powerful and informative journey through her own experiences with Covert Emotional Incest. Not only does this book tell of her journey to healing but offers valuable information and resources that bring clarity and light to those who suffer from this type of trauma. Rarely is there a book that combines such a compelling story with clear and helpful strategies for recovery. I consider this a must-read for both clinicians and individuals who identify with this painful phenomenon.”

Rokelle Lerner, Senior Advisor, Crossroads Centre Antigua. Author: The Object of My Affection is My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists


ASGPP National Conference

Healing Covert Emotional Incest: Boundaries and a Strong Social Atom

Presented by Adena Bank Lees

Saturday, April 22, 2018

Ponder This:

All healing is essentially a release from fear.
- A Course in Miracles

If you want the moon, do not hide from the night. If you want a rose, do not run from the thorns. If you want love, do not hide from yourself.
- Rumi

Adena’s Blog Posts