What is Covert Emotional Incest?

Covert Emotional Incest (CEI) is an elusive, emotional form of child sexual abuse that occurs in the family system when a parent uses a child to fulfill the parent’s emotional, and sometimes romantic needs. Regardless of whether there is physical contact, this dynamic is incestuous due to the undercurrent of sexual energy between the parent and child.

CEI is characterized by one or more of the following:

1. Parent using child as surrogate/substitute spouse & confidant
2. Parent using child to communicate with other parent (triangulation)
3. Breach of the intergenerational boundary between parent and child
4. Objectification of the child

Adena’s mission is to bring Covert Emotional Incest out of the shadows and shine light on the process of identifying and healing from it.

CEI Resources

Covert Emotional Incest: The Hidden Sexual Abuse, by Adena Bank Lees, Together AZ Blog Post

Is It Possible to be “Too Close” to Your Parent or Child?, by Adena Bank Lees, Psychology Today Blog Post

Identifying and Treating the Sexual Repercussions of Incest: A Couples Therapy Approach, by Wendy Maltz, LCSW, DST

12 Healing Steps for Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse: A Practical Guide, by Adena Bank Lees

Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners, by Kenneth Adams, PhD

The Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to Do When A Parent’s Love Rules Your Life, by Dr. Patricia Love

Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes From, How It Sabotages Our Lives, by Pia Mellody, RN

Beyond Surviving: The Final Stage in Recovery from Sexual Abuse, by Rachel Grant, MA, Coach